The Biggest Thing I Learned During My Twenty Fourth Year

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Ah, the birthday post. They come around every year, much like my women's day posts and like those posts, I write with a sense of sentimentality (I am a Cancer, after all) and it's big this year, as I'm hitting twenty five. Officially mid-twenties, (or I've already been in it, according to some of my google search) officially five years until I hit my thirties. 

For a few months leading up to my birthday I felt a sense of dread. I'm turning twenty five and I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be. My career hasn't taken off, my love life is nonexistent, WHAT AM I DOING??  

And then something changed. 

I don't know if it was seeing women older than me enjoying their age & stage in life, my faith journey, or just simply no longer caring, but one day that's exactly what happened. Instead of hating the thought of another year of life ticking itself off, I found myself feeling optimistic. Excited. Terrified? 

Obviously. But that wasn't the prominent emotion anymore.

I think with each year that passes I'm learning more how to go with the flow and understand that life is not on a timeline, and that came to the forefront this year, with me failing in some areas and change happening and heartache and healing and all of the things that come with that. I was no longer scared that I didn't know what I was doing. It instead felt.... liberating. 

I've made a pact with myself to do more things that scare me, because (at the risk of sounding like a Candace Cameron- led Hallmark film) no one knows what will happen or how many more tomorrows we'll get. I spent the majority of my life missing out on things because of fear, and that's a tragedy when you think about it. 

So here's to the next five years and the next five after that, and learning to go with life's flow and fight the fear. (also happy birthday to Ariana G. glad to share a day with you bb)


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