Monday, June 25, 2018

It was a hot June afternoon, the sun blazing through the windows of my Jeep and the notes of an old Dashboard Confessional song humming via spotify. A moment worth snapping a mental photo of- complete stillness, bliss, nostalgia. It seems to happen frequently- possibly because I have an entire playlist dedicated to what I’ve dubbed ‘throwback songs’ & often find myself thinking about days past, a sense of longing to follow. 

It seems like everyone in their twenties is a little obsessed with nostalgia, from old tv shows to music to fashion. It's as if we're trying to hold onto something, that innocence of our childhood that we so naively wanted to get rid of. At least that's what I think. 

We were the last generation to not have the latest iphone at our fingertips by age eight. The tone of dial up can still be heard, deep in our minds when we can't fall asleep, and we were the last generation to have lived through or at least been old enough to remember where we were on 9/11. I think because of that, we had to grow up pretty quickly. We saw, earlier on than most, the ugliness of the world, our tiny piece of childhood paradise tainted with reality. 

There's a reason my life is just one giant gilmore girls rewatch- it's my comfort show. Going back to it feels like going home, catching up with an old friend. & that's how nostalgia works. As we get older and the ugliness seems to get bigger and scarier, the deeper we revert to that comfort. We cling to what we know, try to make sense of it all while reading all the buzzfeed throwback articles we can get our hands on. Maybe if we try hard enough we can be taken back to the time when our biggest worry was which abercrombie skirt to wear to the dance?

I've come to realize that the more we adult, the harder we resist it. Maybe it's the depressing job market or student loans or *shudder* taxes, but nobody seems to want to grow up when only a decade ago we wished for it while throwing pennies into a well. I'd ask what happened, but we know. 


Maybe we can't make all the bad things go away, but if rocking chokers and turning on the hills for a bit makes it all a little easier, why not? 


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