Monday, April 2, 2018

Friendships In Your 20s
Lemon Cold Shoulder Top

I won't tell you how much Friends trivia I know in order to know that the original pitch for the show included the line "[it's] about friendship because when you're single and in the city, your friends are your family." From the time I first properly watched the show at sixteen, I longed for friendships like that with girls I could call my very best friends. Not long after, Pretty Little Liars came onto the scene, & I longed for a strong group of a girl gang even more deeply. (Only minus the friend who faked her own death and the whole A thing) Sometimes it seems silly to relate television so much to real life, but there's a reason it resonates so deeply with people. It might be fictional, but the emotions and stories are real.

After a long time of aching for deeper friendships & feeling quite lonely if we're honest, (cry me a river, kae) I began to feel like maybe friendships like that only existed in media. Sure, I'd had high school friends, but most of them were the kind of friendships that formed because you saw each other every day, had something in common, usually superficial, & you had fun with them. You enjoyed laughing with them instead of paying attention to the day's lesson, but things were always surface level, & then once that graduation music hit you parted ways, promised to stay in touch, & then without really even trying, the friendship slowly faded.

It happens. 

On Friendship In Your Twenties

You’ll naturally long for more, deeper friendships that will stand the test of time, and if you’re lucky, those usually happen in college or post-grad. For me, my first forever friend (is that a thing?) happened to be my freshman year roommate. We were randomly thrown together, as college computer systems do, and then once we found out we’d be each other's roommate we exchanged information and starting emailing. (That’s what the cool kids did in 2012) It didn’t take long for me to realize that we were pretty much the same person, & once we got settled & moved in, we somehow skipped over the awkward new-roommate- what-do-I-do-with-myself phase and settled straight into the best friends phase, and the rest, as they say, is history.

As much as I wish it were always that easy, friends aren't going to just fall into your lap every time. There will be times you'll feel lonely and disconnected, even if you've got a lovely lot of friends. It happens, especially in our tech-obsessed world, which makes the friendships we do have that much more meaningful. 

Cold Shoulder Top | Spring Outfit

That lesson is perhaps one of the most profound of my twenties so far. Your friends truly are the family you get to pick, and when you invest wisely and put in what you want to get out, you will come away with more laughs and lessons and good cry sessions and gilmore girls & wine marathons than you'll know what to do with. So, if you haven't today, make sure you check in with your friends. Have a coffee date.

Invest in the people who love you and show it, because our world is so much brighter with them in it. 



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