Happy, free, confused, + lonely at the same time.

Monday, April 14, 2014


I believe happiness is an abstract concept. It means so many different things to different people, and people make themselves happy in all kinds of ways. When you're in a season of sadness, making yourself happy seems kind of impossible.

But I've realized something. It's only impossible if I make it that way. Sure, I can't magically be all smiles and rainbows 24/7, but surrounding yourself with positivity can most definitely help. And lemme tell you something else.

You can make yourself happy by pretending you're happy. Fake it 'til ya make it, am I right? Personally, up until recently, that whole concept felt like I was lying to myself. But it's not really lying so much as taking the first steps toward your own version of happiness. A couple weeks ago, after another long day of trying and failing to not feel sorry for myself, to not let loneliness get to me, I had enough.

I came up with a new plan of sorts, and wrote it down.
No more of this woe is me business. No more being afraid to give my fears to God. (Kind of ironic, don't ya think?) It's time I create the life that I want, the happiness that I crave.

{via me}

Why should you settle? If you're unhappy, change it. Start doing more of the things that make you happy. For me, it's all about the simple things.

The first sip of coffee in the mornings.
Getting lost in a book.
The beauty in laying in bed with no sound but my record player.
Wearing lipstick + listening to Arctic Monkeys (It makes me feel like I can conquer the world)

The same kinds of things might make you feel good, or it could be completely different. It doesn't matter.
What matters is that you take your life and make it what you want it to be.

As for me? I'm pretty complicated, and that's okay.
So right now I think I want to be a little happy,
a little free,
a little confused,
and a little lonely.

At the same time.

22 by Taylor Swift on Grooveshark

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1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure if you check for comments on here, but I hope you see this eventually. I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling lost. And from what I can tell, you are becoming a thoughtful writer. My advice: Take all those bad feelings that are corrupting your happiness, smoosh them down into the end of a pen or the tips of your fingers, and set them free. You deserve to be happy, I truly believe that.
    You are a wonderful person, and I miss you being my roomie, even if we are opposite in many ways. No one else knows how to feel lost and act brave at the same time like we do.
    Roomie love always,


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