Oh, don't mind me, just settling dust off the keyboard.

Hi. It's been awhile. As in, I opened up Blogger to find an entirely new interface awhile. 

I didn't expect to go radio silent for months on end, but here we are. To be quite honest, the pandemic sent my depression into a frenzy, and I know I'm not alone in that. It seemed like everywhere you turned on social people were getting into new hobbies, tackling new projects, taking advantage of the time and I just.. couldn't. I didn't have the energy or desire, and after blogging here & there through it, I stopped. I took an instagram break, and it turns out that not posting all the time and not thinking about what to post all the time really does wonders for the brain. 

Slowly but surely, my passion is coming back and I'm getting inspired by fashion again. I want to start creating outfits and finding vintage pieces and sharing them. I even opened my Poshmark back up- mostly because I've been slowly clearing out my closet- but I also want to use it for more, like selling Sunday June pieces. I never officially announced my boutique on here, so there that is!

Apparently people are somehow still seeing this blog even in my absence- I came back to more hits than I had when I was active, so thanks pinterest? Google? Who knows. But whatever the case, I'm back for a revival. Blogging may be dead, but not around here. The difference is I'm no longer trying to be this ~influencer~ that I'm not and I actually really love it. 

What's inspiring me lately?

xo,

kae

We Have To Talk About Racism In The Fashion Industry | Podcast

After quite the hiatus, the podcast is back with new episodes and I felt I needed to acknowledge the recent climate and how the fashion industry affects it. 

The Inevitability of Getting Older

If 25 is a quarter-life crisis, 26 is a prelude into the late-twenties apocalypse, during which time you find yourself fighting the monsters of questioning your career, your future, and every decision you've ever made. Oh and don't forget the dreaded insurance! I'm pretty sure there is a circle of hell in which you're stuck searching for your own insurance on a loop.

Surprisingly, the enemy of age wasn't always considered such a foe. As a growing child I looked at adulthood with wistfulness, something that exuded sophistication and happiness and everyone got what they wanted, because that's what happens when you're an adult, right? (I know you are very much laughing out loud at this point. Don't worry, so am I) Cut to roughly fifteen years later and instead I find myself looking back at my youth with the kind of wistfulness in my eyes that our parents had when they would inevitably tell us about "the good old days." 

It's not that I miss my adolescence. In fact, I'm quite glad it's been left behind, as it hurt in the ways only adolescence mixed with a touch of mental illness can. The thing I do miss is the simpleness of it all. The feeling that you had all the time in the world and that anything could be solved with some Dashboard Confessional and the latest episode of The Hills. Sometimes the tiniest bit of regret creeps in for not living more freely during this time, and now that I can actually live freely in the name of travel and adventure and experience, I'm held back. Held back by the commitment of a full time job, responsibilities, money, and okay yeah, maybe some fear.

And so I wonder and I dream. I think we have a tendency to romanticize the things we haven't done, and to the world that can look like unhappiness. But does it have to be? Can it be okay to be in the present and still do a bit of longing? The thing is that I'm terrified of the future and so I get stuck in the past, in a maze of nostalgia and what ifs. But I don't think it has to be a bad thing. In a way I think it moves me forward, plucks me from my comfort zone and forcing me to live- because as much as we may want otherwise, we're always running out of time. 

Or are we? 

It's a slippery little slope, but contrary to belief, we don't have to have it all figured out yet. Maybe one day.